Life Coach Ramblings

Death came in threes on my mom’s side of the family this year. In May, we lost my uncle—her second-eldest brother, the one she was closest to. In October, on the 16th, his widow died. And on November 1st, my mom’s eldest brother died—just two weeks later. Now, among the siblings, it’s just her and her younger sister left.

The specter of mortality feels increasingly real with age, and each loss in the family affects me with a depth I didn’t feel when I was younger.

Grief has a way of slowing you down if you let it, and I’ve chosen to honor that. In alignment with my muted and subdued energy, these are some things I’ve put on hold:

• Engaging with the coaching community as a whole
• Participating in coaching exchanges
• Visiting the r/lifecoaching subreddit
• Searching for new clients
• Planning what’s next

What I have continued doing:

• Focusing only on my three clients, saving my “on” energy for them (but also giving myself grace to be honest and let them know I’m grieving, rescheduling appointments if I need space)
• Slowly working on completing my requirements for my Lumia certificate
• Occasionally tinkering with my website

Everything else has been allowed to rest.

Grief has given me permission to simply be, to throw things out of the boat that I didn’t really need. A kind of permission that, under normal circumstances, I have difficulty giving myself without guilt hovering close by.

This makes me think of how we usually meet grief when it shows up. We try to hide it away or minimize it somehow. We try to get on with the business of living too soon, and at a pace that’s faster than we’re ready for, not giving it the time and space to breathe and pass through us naturally.

The next time grief (of any variety, not just bereavement) comes to you, try not to move on too quickly. If you sit with it long enough, you may see the gifts it’s trying to offer: presence, humility, and the ability to listen inward. In that pause, clarity about what comes next can finally emerge.