Life Coach Ramblings

I see a lot of posts on Reddit from people who want to sell their expertise and package it in a way that would be helpful to clients. Some have been told that they’re great at giving advice, and so they feel like they should be coaches.

The last time I saw someone post about doing this, I responded, saying that if they were going to sell their expertise and use their industry knowledge to advise people, they were better off positioning themselves as a consultant. OP (original poster) replied, “Can you elaborate?”

Below was my response:

Coaching is a non-directive process where instead of positioning yourself as someone whose knowledge can benefit the client, you are a thinking partner to them. Coaching is client driven. Instead of giving your opinions and thoughts on what they need to do, you listen to them and ask questions that help them shift their thinking, leading them to their own solutions, not the solutions you suggest or provide.

The realm of consulting is taking your expertise and using that to help clients. You pour your knowledge into them.

That said, there’s nothing to say you can’t combine both methods when working with clients. But if you’re going to lead with the intention of using your knowledge and expertise to create tools to help people and give them solutions (which is what I understand your intention to be) that’s being a consultant. But again, it doesn’t mean you can’t use some coaching in your approach. I would just position myself as a consultant.

Fortunately, OP was receptive to my response. The last time I told someone on Reddit that they weren’t coaching if they were giving advice and wanting to tell people what to do, the other person responded quite aggressively.

This recent exchange led me to post my own question:

I see a lot of people in the coaching communities wanting to sell their expertise to start coaching businesses, but coaching isn’t about providing answers. It’s client-driven and not about giving advice. It’s being a thinking partner so you can help your client surface their own wisdom about what to do.

With that said, I’m curious, what’s behind people not just calling themselves consultants? Is it misunderstanding about what coaching really is? Is it because people think the terms are interchangeable? Is it because “coaching” feels like a more approachable word than “consulting”?

Below are some of the responses:

• “These are two completely different services and should be marketed in very different ways.”
• “Words are just words. Clients only care if you can deliver results.”
• “In business, clients don’t care about the distinctions. They want outcomes and trust. Pure coaching doesn’t work in many business contexts… but blending coaching and consulting does.”
• “As long as I’m transparent with my approach and style, it doesn’t matter.”
• “A lot of people don’t actually know what coaching is. They think they’re coaching because they see others calling themselves coaches while giving advice, so that becomes the image.”
• “We need to distinguish between ICF-aligned coaching and the rest of the world. Most people think coaches tell you what to do—like a sports or fitness coach.”

It angers me when people say it doesn’t really matter. It does matter.

My issue with people calling themselves coaches when they really should say “consultant” (or something else entirely) is that it prevents the modality of coaching from being differentiated as its own, very powerful form of intervention.

I once told a friend it feels like coaching is the youngest sibling of mentoring, consulting, and therapy. It’s trying to carve out its own identity and show the world what it can do, but people keep mixing it up with its older siblings.

And then, of course, there are the folks who slap “coach” on their bio, make big promises, and don’t deliver. This drags the whole industry’s credibility down. So many people have had disappointing (or even harmful) experiences with coaches that there’s a Reddit community (LifeCoachSnark) dedicated to hating on coaching.

The thing is, most people who want to be coaches are well-meaning. But good intentions aren’t enough if you don’t have proper training. Some end up giving advice clients blindly follow, which can actually do damage.

Coaching has no barrier to entry, and that’s the root of the problem. Anyone can call themselves a coach. But if you’re going to charge hundreds or even thousands of dollars, you should have real training, certification from an accredited program, and actual hours of practice behind you. I wouldn’t trust my money, or my growth, to anyone without that foundation. “School of Life” alone isn’t enough.

Right now, the industry feels like a rough neighborhood in need of a cleanup. Until there’s some standard for who gets to use the word “coach,” we’ll keep seeing the same cycle: confusion, disappointment, and distrust.